The news has come

Grandad died this evening.

I am relieved that his pain is over, but so sad too.

No news is good news, right?

Grandad is still with us, not sure how long for. He is very poorly. The phone rang at 7.40 this morning and I expected it to be my mum, but it was a friend who I had rung the day before returning my call. Phew for now.

Today I went to book a holiday with another widowed friend. We are going all out and have booked a Caribbean holiday for Easter next year. Bit expensive really, but then we all know that life is short...

Playing the waiting game

My grandad is very ill. His treatment has been reduced to pain killers only, so now we wait.

Pray for my lovely Grandad Ted tonight. Nigel is waiting for him in a place which is free of pain.

Home again

What a weekend at Center Parcs! We all had such a fantastic time, making the most of the swimming pool, the spa and all the outdoor facilities. Emotionally it was a tricky weekend, as it was deeply sad to see so many children and adults together because of their bereavement. The children played so well together, it was as if the loss of a parent meant they knew each other already. Plenty of tears were shed, but then equally we were able to talk together about the traumas that life has thrown at us and grow stronger as a result. I will post more later, as we are off to Harewood House today for some Halloween fun.

Birthday time

Today would have been Nigel's 42nd birthday. I have thought of him a lot today, no tears as yet but the night is still young.
I haven't blogged in a while as I have been so, so busy. I went back to work on Tuesday after 4 months off. I had two easy days to help me readjust, which was good. There have been a lot of changes in staff, so several new faces to meet.
I have done some crafting but as usual I haven't photographed it. I will when we get back from Center Parcs, which is where we are headed tomorrow. 350 widows and widowers and their children are heading for Sherwood CP tomorrow. I am looking forward to seeing some good friends, and hopefully making some new ones. It is desperately sad that any of us are in the situations we are in, but hey, let's make the best of it.
See you after the weekend.

Do YOU Bind-It-All?

I've had this gadget about a month now, and I must say I just love it! It is an amazing little punch/binder which means you can produce really great mini books and other bound projects.
I've used it for lots of different things so far, and today I finished my favourite yet.

This is a card organiser I made for my friend Sarah. It is made using Fancy Pants papers, which came in my July Scrapagogo kit. There is space to record the birthdays etc for each month, and also pockets to keep cards in. I bound it, of course, with the BIA.

This is a project I have started but have yet to finish. It is a 6x6 book made using the Heidi Grace papers and cardstock from my September Scrapagogo kit. The papers are textured and very tactile, so lovely to work with. I'm planning on taking photographs of things in my life just now to put in the book. When I get round to it lol!
So this is my last week of 'freedom' before I go back to work. My depression is sorted now, and I feel better than I have done in a long time. I am starting to get out more on a social level. WAY is still a great support for me, and later this month we are going to Center Parcs Nottigham for the annual WAY meetup. The girls found it hard initially to realise that there are unfortunately lots of other boys and girls who have lost their mummy or daddy. I am hoping friendships will be formed when we are there. No-one quite understands unless they have been there themselves.
Other than that, life is ticking along nicely. My throat has healed amazingly well, and I have more energy now that the constant low level infection has gone. Going back to work will be just fine. After all, I am lucky to only have to work two days a week. Got to watch the pennies, but other than that I will have plenty of time for my lovely girls.
Bye for now
Anna

Sisters on canvas

Finally finished this off today. The canvas is painted with the same colour as is now on my hall walls, so it is to go on the stairs up to my mum and dad's bedroom. Papers are BG Scarlet's Letter, BG mini monos, Little Silver Hat ribbons, blooms from my LSH kit and from Sarah's Cards.

Pleased with how it turned out. Now to start on a birthday book for my buddy Sarah.

Mission accomplished!

Hooray! Managed to pick up a pink power ranger costume at good ole' Marks and SPraks today. Alex will love it. Now to track down what I need for Sophie...

I went to the doctor's today to sort my final sick note. I am going back to work on 16th October, doing my two days a week as planned. It will be good to be back, just got to make sure I don't lose my voice. That is why I am off for the next two weeks, as I get hoarse as soon as I try and make myself heard. I'm teaching in reception and in year 3/4, so it will be nice to expand my repertoire, so to speak!

So I am off now to scrap, I am in the middle of doing a canvas for the hall wall. Looking good so far.

Power Rangers Plea...

Can you help? Alex, my three year old, has developed a love of the Power Rangers. So I thought it might be a good idea to get her a Power Rangers dressing up outfit for Christmas. Ages away yet, I know, but I like to get organised early!
Trouble is, I can find the boy Power Ranger costumes in blue, red or green, but no girl Power Ranger costumes, in pink or yellow. I know Alex will want the pink version, so if you know where I might be able to order one from, please leave me a comment!

Otherwise I am still feeling pretty rough. I am hoping to turn the corner with this soon, but at least I know I won't be getting recurrent tonsilitis once this is done with.

Time to smile!

Today I booked a trip to this for a surprise for my lovely girls this Christmas. I have toyed with the idea of going to Lapland proper, but the cost and my lone status has ruled it out. Then yesterday I saw a link to the Lapland UK page, discussed it with a friend today and booked it! It looks great, can't wait for the invitation to arrive a fortnight before we go! It is a secret from the girls, so if you see them, please don't spoil it!

I went back to the doctor's today, as I am not coping so well with the post op pain. I have some stronger pain relief now, so I should be able to get some sleep tonight. I've had a quiet and relaxing day today, so I am hoping I will sleep better tonight.

Nothing else to report really, I haven't felt up to much crafting. Must get that sorted!

Feeling alone

On Wednesday I felt horribly alone. Even though I was surrounded by family and friends who mean everything to me, I still felt alone. I wanted Nigel to be there at the hospital with me when I went down to theatre, for him to be waiting on the ward for me when I came back from surgery.
I am lucky to have some amazing friends, and my mum and dad have been fantastic with the girls this week. Nigel hated hospitals, but I know he would have been there for me when I had my op.

I miss you Nigel.

I'm home minus my tonsils

Had my op at 9.30 yesterday morning. Spent the rest of the day snoozing on the ward. Then I was discharged at 4pm, having eaten some ice cream, half a slice of bread, and half a cup a soup. There were several of us having our tonsils out, but the others seemed to be taking it much worse than I did. Yes, it is painful, but not eating and drinking makes the pain worse. I was so glad to be back home and in my own bed. Sophie was worried about me, bless her, so I ended up with a bed companion last night. She didn't go to sleep until after 9, so she was understandably reluctant to get up this morning.
The school photographer was there today, and Sophie came home with a proof of the picture of them both together. It is gorgeous, very pleased with it! Now to decide which prints to order.
I'm still in bed, having snoozed on and off for most of the day, so I think I will have a little something to eat now.

Missing Morgan

I was watching 'Extreme Makeover: Home Edition' today, where the family featured was the Nick family. They were chosen because Colleen, mum of the family, had established a foundation to search for lost children. Morgan, their daughter, was abducted when she was 6. She is now 18, and Colleen is still waiting to find her again. The website is here.

The pain I have felt since Nigel died is horrific, but in itself is nothing compared to the pain felt by Morgan's family. To not know where she is or if she is even still alive must be a living hell. I treasure my girls, even when they drive me to distraction! To be without them is something I do not want to imagine.

Colleen continues in her belief that Morgan will be found. She sums it up by saying,
"Love always hopes."

May Morgan return home soon.

To move away from Morgan's story, I am going in to hospital on Wednesday to have my tonsils removed. I've waited a long time to get to the top of the list, so wish me luck please!

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yep it's my birthday today. I have hit the ripe old age of 32. So I have had a nice laid back day. Started with coffee at Starbucks, then a spot of gardening as the weather was lovely. My friend Sue is helping me reorganise my garden, and today we put in the plants we bought yesterday. The garden is looking much better than it was, but there is still plenty to go at. I need to give the decking a really good clean as it is really dusty and dirty. Ah well, a job for another day!
Tonight Collette and Lynne are coming round for us to scrapbook together.
Nothing too strenuous, but all in all the day that I have enjoyed!

Finally finished it...

This is a project I have been thinking about doing for a year now. I battled the photographers to get this photograph, and bought the frame in Ikea with the intention of doing something with it. Today I finally finished it. Now where do I put it? On the wall in the house for sure, but just not sure which wall! Suggestions please...

Proof that I do scrap...

Finally got round to photographing some of my scrapbooking layouts today, proof that I do actually craft from time to time!
















I also broke into my GoGo Greetings kit today and made a card:


And finally the plate I painted in Woolacombe last week. Mum and dad collected it for me as we had to leave before it had been fired.



So I do craft, not as often as I would like, but I fully intend to do it more often from now on.

Been to a wedding reception this evening. It was Nigel's cousin's daughter, so all of that side of the family was there. Not seen most of them since the funeral so to say they didn't recognise me was an understatement! I found it hard work being there, as although I know some of Nigel's cousins, I don't know them that well. Watching the bride and groom have their first dance together was a sad moment, as I remembered Nigel and I doing the same thing seven years ago.

On a more positive note, I have booked our flights for our holiday next summer. Something to look forward to over the coming months!

Life is ticking along

Thought I would write a quick update. I haven't downloaded any photos from my camera yet, as I have been consumed by the laundry mountain currently residing in my house. All the washing is done now, so just need to do the ironing and put it all away.

The drive tired me out more than I realised, and so I was very glad to get to bed last night.

I heard today that my friend's cousin had died. He too had a heart attack, and was 36 years old. There is no way of understanding why things like this happen.

Home again

Managed to avoid all the major delays on the roads thank goodness.

Got me a lovely new header thanks to Stacey, will email you tomorrow medear, I am off to drink some vino now!

There is a reason why...

... I don't live in Bath. Shopping. Far too many shops in Bath that I love. We nipped in for a coffee this afternoon, having been and fed the ducks on the canal this morning. As we drove in, we spied the newly opened Joules. Once we had parked the car, we headed back to this delightful shop, and I found lots of things I wanted... The children's clothes were gorgeous too, but I resisted. Maybe Jo will get the girls a Joules sweater for Christmas...

Then we hit Weird Fish, another label I love. Good job there was a sale there too!

Our last port of call was the White Company. Fortunately I was able to resist this one, as anything I wanted to buy was too bulky to fit in the car along with the holiday luggage! There was a sale on there too, oh well never mind!

Tomorrow we head for Devon, and having spoken to my brother, I am not filled with joy about our destination. Watch this space, we may be home earlier than planned!