People

People are unreasonable, illogical, self-centred
... love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives
... do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies
... be successful anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow
... do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable
... be honest and frank anyway.
People love underdogs but follow only top dogs
... follow some underdog anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight
... build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you try to help
... help people anyway.
If you give the world the best you have, you may get kicked in the teeth
... but give the world the best you have anyway.

Someone said this was written by Mother Theresa. I'm not sure but I like it anyway.

Sadness for other families

This evening I heard the sad news that a fellow scrapper had passed away. I never knew her, but I knew about her illness through UKS. I hope that wherever she is now is a place free of pain. I also hope that her family have strength in the coming days to adjust to life without her.

Everyone knows I would give everything I have to have Nigel back here again. But one thing is for sure, I am so very glad that he did not have to endure a long illness. He was a terrible patient! My GP has reassured me that he did not feel any pain when he died.

One thing I will never say to the relatives and friends of someone who has died is that they have gone to a better place. I've said it before and I'll say it again now, how can it be a better place when there is so much here for them?

I hope you're watching Nigel, and I hope you're happy with what you see as far as the girls are concerned.

We miss you.

Reading.... which books do I like? UKS blog prompt

Thought I would do today's blog prompt from UKS:

What are a few of your all-time favourite books? What periods of your life were you at when you read them and is that relevant? What kinds of books are you most likely to pick up and read today? Do you read more or less than you used to?

Favourite books....

Well this summer I read Jodi Picoult's 'My Sister's Keeper'
I read it a few days before Nigel died and I thought it was an excellent book with lots of thought provoking moments. As I read it I was happy, on holiday in a beautiful place surrounded by my family. The book showed how even being surrounded by family can mean sadness, and I was to experience sadness to the same degree and greater within days of finishing the book. I have other books by Jodi Picoult to read and I will get round to them soon.

I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the Harry Potter books, and am looking forward to reading book 7 sometime in the future... when JKR finishes it!

I have also enjoyed reading a lot of fiction aimed at young adults. Last year I taught several very able readers, and I wanted to know what they were reading. As a result I have read, and enjoyed, the Alex Rider books by Horowitz, Charlie Higson's Young Bond books, Molly Moon and her hypnotic skills which take her all over the world, and the 'His Dark Materials' trilogy by Philip Pullman.

Adult fiction wise, I love Wilbur Smith's books. I have lost count of the number of his novels which I have read. My favourite has to be River God, and then the follow ups of the Seventh Scroll and Warlock. I just love his writing.

In general terms I don't 'do' chick lit. I am bored when attempting to read it, so don't usually bother! I will look at best sellers, and got started with Dan Brown's books that way (favourite of the four has to be Angels and Demons). I also take note of what other people on various forums are reading and recommend.

I love to read, but since Nigel died I have struggled to concentrate long enough to get through a book. The desire is there but I can't focus long enough to finish. I am sure I will get over that hurdle soon. Until then, scrapbooking fills that gap nicely!

Please leave me a comment!

I know from yesterday that there are quite a few people reading this.... so please, if you are reading this, leave me a comment to say hello!

What a great day!

But boy am I exhausted! I had so much fun at Sarah's retreat, made some fab things, ate much lovely food (thanks Jools) and chatted to loads of lovely ladies. Thank you to everyone involved, I had a fantastic day. And I was chauffeur driven there and back too thanks to Jane.
I haven't put any photographs onto the projects yet but once I have I will post pics.

A day for me

Tomorrow I am off to deepest darkest Cheshire to a scrapbooking retreat, organised by Sarah's Cards. I am so excited, there are 3 classes and lots of yummy food and drink. I am meeting Heather there, and also meeting Lana, Mimsie and Culpepper for the very first time! Oh and Culpepper's daughter too.
Will post pics of what I make.

being a teacher

I do enjoy my job. The class I have this year is, er, challenging. Made up of 22 boys and 8 girls so life in my classroom is never quiet.
Despite these challenges, I like my class. They make me laugh. They tell me funny things..... they are fascinated by life and what it throws at you.... and if I see that toenail in a box once more I will SCREAM!

Happy Birthday Sophie

My beautiful daughter is 5! I can hardly believe it. We went for tea at Pizza Hut with Jennifer and Sarah, Sophie's choice and she loved it.

When I was writing her card I cried :(
Writing 'love from Mummy' was very hard. I nearly wrote Daddy on there too but I didn't want to upset her.

I am so proud of Sophie. She is a sociable, well liked and adorable child.

Her Daddy would be so proud of her.

Thoughts

I spend a lot of time thinking about things lately.

I have lots of things to be glad about. My home. A job I enjoy. Friends. And most importantly family.

There are so many people out there who have it worse than me.

Of course I wish I could change things. But I can't.

Small things make me happy. Today my whole class laughed. And I mean laughed hard. It felt good. And to see 30 faces smiling and laughing was a tonic. Takes your mind off the harder parts of life.

They say laughter is the best medicine, and today I would have to agree. When I am in the darkest place, it seems as if it will be impossible to escape. But I have, and I have managed to laugh a little. One day I will laugh more.

Ireland here we come!

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Have booked my flights to Ireland so the girls and I will be spending Easter in County Mayo with my very lovely friend and her family.
Can't wait, excited already!

Christmas

Do I have to? Don't really fancy it.
Got to for the girls but I am not even vaguely in the mood for it this year. People are talking about putting up Christmas trees. I am going to put mine up as late as I can.

And another thing.... get over it.... its been 3 months... what's all that about?

When someone dies, you never get over it, not to get back to how your life was before they died. I will never get over Nigel's death, not completely. It has changed me in certain ways, hopefully not in a bad way.

But for someone to say get over it, well they have obviously never experienced a loss like this. Fortunately it wasn't said to me, otherwise this person may well have been sporting a cracker of a shiner.

Get over it? Never. Move on and make the best of it, yes. But never will I forget my Nigel.

As time goes by.....

.... on Tuesday my baby will be 5 years old. Today she is having a party to celebrate with her friends at Munchkins.
Those years have passed so quickly. It seems like yesterday that Nigel and I brought our tiny baby home. On Christmas Day that year she weighed the same as the turkey!
Some great memories from over the years...... happy times...... I wish Nigel was here to share in the celebrations today....

Sleep is a beautiful thing

Especially when you haven't been getting much of it! Alex finally slept all night last night after being poorly this week. I was in bed for 10 and asleep by 10.15! Bliss.
Just a shame I had to get up for work really!
Off for a curry tonight, with some friends from work. My first night out in a while so it will be good!

Party Bus

Sophie went to a party tonight on the Party Bus. Basically its a double decker bus which drives to your house and parks outside. In the bus, upstairs is the party room with space for dancing, games and also a ball pool. Then downstairs is where you eat your party food.
Excellent idea! Think I will book it for Alex's birthday next year. She has never had a party, so it will be a good one to have as her first.
Sophie is very excited about her birthday. I hope I have got her a present she wants.....

Tired

Alex was up all night coughing, so needless to say I was up with her. She has a virus, so no medication other than painkillers. Great.

On the plus side, I did get my lovely Crop a Dile today. Jane very kindly picked me one up while she was in the US visiting family. Cost me half what it does here! I am going to do me a mini book tonight with some beer mats and pics of the girls tonight. The crop a dile should punch through them like butter.

Ghost

Great film.

Load of tripe in reality.

But oh for one more moment with Nigel.

Real life isn't Hollywood.

I'll see you one day Nigel. Not too soon, but one day.

Poorly Alex

Alex got up at 4 this morning. Ah the joys. She was desperate for a drink.
While we were at church she went downhill and slept on Kath's knee. Since then she has dozed on and off all day. She did manage a packet of crisps at lunchtime, but since then nothing. Did her usual trick and brought up a load of phlegm. Nice.

Hopefully I'm not in for a dfficult night.......

And so life continues

busy day today

took Sophie to swimming and she got her 5m badge :D

then into town to do various bits and pieces.

After that was Dalton's party at the Brickworks.

Slotted in a quick visit to see Grandma Jean.

Then home, and a visit from Bridget and Steve.

Bath time and bed time now....

3 months on

Time really is passing quickly. Three months since you left. I miss you more each day.

This evening I took the girls to see Disney On Ice. The looks on their faces said it all. Sophie was enthralled, Alex kept turning to me and beaming. Absolute delight all round.

Out of the mouths of babes

Washing my hands in the sink between my classroom and the year 1 classroom yesterday, a little girl I recognised but didn't know came over to see me.
She told me that somebody at her mummy's work had died. And that her mummy was sad when he died. And that her mummy realised that the person who had died was my husband. So she asked me if it was my husband who had died and I told her it was. She then repeated how sad her mummy had been.
It was the first time a child at school had asked me about Nigel's death, and I was happy to answer her questions. It turns out her mummy works at the Council like Nigel did. Not in the same office but the same building.
A child's innocent view of death can, as I see it, make it easier to understand. She told me how her mum had felt, and that her mum had made the connection through surnames.
In a strange way I am glad to have talked about it at school. I always prefer it if people just ask. Gossiping behind my back achieves nothing.

And as my friend's little girl says, look for the brightest star in the sky, and you can see Nigel looking down on us.

I love Casualty on the telly

shame the reality is not quite so good!

Three hours and one steri strip later we are home. Sophie gashed her head whilst at a play centre today so off we trotted to Dewsbury Hospital to Casualty. She is fine although she will have a scar. Hopefully not a big one, but there will be a mark.

She was supremely brave, I was so very proud of her. Well done Sophie!

And during the drama Alex had a splendiferous time with Mike and Mary and the dogs. Came home to find her fast asleep on their sofa. Thanks M & M you are superstars.

Keep your fingers crossed please

My brother and SIL are worrying about their baby... please keep them in your prayers. SIL is 23 weeks pregnant and there are some problems. They are seeing various consultants etc, so I am praying this little one holds on.