Proof that I do scrap...

Finally got round to photographing some of my scrapbooking layouts today, proof that I do actually craft from time to time!
















I also broke into my GoGo Greetings kit today and made a card:


And finally the plate I painted in Woolacombe last week. Mum and dad collected it for me as we had to leave before it had been fired.



So I do craft, not as often as I would like, but I fully intend to do it more often from now on.

Been to a wedding reception this evening. It was Nigel's cousin's daughter, so all of that side of the family was there. Not seen most of them since the funeral so to say they didn't recognise me was an understatement! I found it hard work being there, as although I know some of Nigel's cousins, I don't know them that well. Watching the bride and groom have their first dance together was a sad moment, as I remembered Nigel and I doing the same thing seven years ago.

On a more positive note, I have booked our flights for our holiday next summer. Something to look forward to over the coming months!

Life is ticking along

Thought I would write a quick update. I haven't downloaded any photos from my camera yet, as I have been consumed by the laundry mountain currently residing in my house. All the washing is done now, so just need to do the ironing and put it all away.

The drive tired me out more than I realised, and so I was very glad to get to bed last night.

I heard today that my friend's cousin had died. He too had a heart attack, and was 36 years old. There is no way of understanding why things like this happen.

Home again

Managed to avoid all the major delays on the roads thank goodness.

Got me a lovely new header thanks to Stacey, will email you tomorrow medear, I am off to drink some vino now!

There is a reason why...

... I don't live in Bath. Shopping. Far too many shops in Bath that I love. We nipped in for a coffee this afternoon, having been and fed the ducks on the canal this morning. As we drove in, we spied the newly opened Joules. Once we had parked the car, we headed back to this delightful shop, and I found lots of things I wanted... The children's clothes were gorgeous too, but I resisted. Maybe Jo will get the girls a Joules sweater for Christmas...

Then we hit Weird Fish, another label I love. Good job there was a sale there too!

Our last port of call was the White Company. Fortunately I was able to resist this one, as anything I wanted to buy was too bulky to fit in the car along with the holiday luggage! There was a sale on there too, oh well never mind!

Tomorrow we head for Devon, and having spoken to my brother, I am not filled with joy about our destination. Watch this space, we may be home earlier than planned!

Bath time

So here we are in the beautiful city of Bath, staying with Joanne and Robin a few minutes' drive from the city centre. This afternoon we went into the centre, as the rain was siling down. We had planned to visit this farm but the rain really was too heavy. So on the way into Bath we passed Crockadoodledo, a pottery painting place. We had so much fun! The girls painted a plate each, Jo did a bowl, and I did a mug. Jo was under the impression that we would watch while the girls painted, but I soon told her otherwise. "But I'm not artistic," she cried.
"Rubbish," I said, and she proceeded to thoroughly enjoy herself. Jo is going to pick up the fired items in a week, can't wait to see them.

After the pottery painting, we headed to my favourite haunt, good old Starbucks, for coffee and munchies for the girls. Then it was time to hit the shops. I was looking for a dress, as I have an evening wedding reception to go to at the end of the month. Nigel's cousin's daughter is the bride to be, so I have an invite for the evening. With not a thing to wear, I spied this in Crew Colthing, and was delighted to find it fitted, and that it was 50% off in the sale! That's me sorted then.

The wine is open again, and we are having curry once the girls are in bed. Both of them are absolutely whacked, so it won't be long til it is bed time. Tomorrow we are going to try and get to the farm, weather permitting. If not, who knows where we will end up!

Adios Amigos... again!

Tomorrow we are off to see Joanne, hooray! Then on to a week's break with my family. See you all in a week or so!

Peter's New Heart

He made it through the surgery, and is recovering in ICU at Harefield. It will be a long road to recovery, but Peter has his new heart!

I am so very happy for the whole family. But equally sad for the donor's family in their time of loss. I wonder how old the donor was, and the circumstances that lead to Peter getting his second chance.

Life deals bitter blows to many people, but fortunately one person's tragedy is another person's chance of happiness.

Time for a transplant...

As I type this, Peter is undergoing his heart transplant.

I can't fully understand Sarah's hopes and fears, as I have not been there exactly, but I know one thing.

Let this transplant be the lifeline Sarah and Peter deserve.

So the first year is over...

That's that, the first of everything is done. First birthdays without Nigel, first Christmas, Father's Day and our seventh Wedding Anniversary. Lots of other firsts too, which we had to adjust to as a family of three instead of four. We have overcome hurdles, dealt with sadness, and also experienced happy times.

The happiness was bittersweet, as always there was the thought that Nigel should have been sharing in everything. He was so looking forward to taking Sophie to school on her first day in reception. I was so proud of her that day, and I know that Nigel would have felt the same.

Another day which we had been waiting for was Alex's grommet operation. Alex was diagnosed with glue ear in April last year, and her behaviour was severely affected. She experienced 90% hearing loss, and was in considerable pain because of the pressure in both ears. The grommets made an instant difference, and I so wish Nigel could have seen that difference.

Christmas passed without too much drama, the girls enjoying their presents and spending time with family. Time seemed to rush past, life was so busy. I returned to work in late October, which was the right decision at the time. My class last year was very demanding, but I thoroughly enjoyed teaching them. The paperwork aspect of teaching is enough to grind even the most committed teacher down, but the actual act of teaching is something I love doing.

The first anniversary was not was painful as I had expected, the build up being far worse than the day itself. Remembering how that night had started with a happy meal at our favourite restaurant, and ending with my husband being carried away in a body bag. Something not even for your worst nightmare, but it happened.

The direction of my life has changed since then. Nigel's death is something I will never get over. People ask if I have got over it yet, but they are asking a ridiculous question. Nigel will always have a special place in my heart, even if I meet someone else. No-one can tell what the future holds for any of us, but Nigel will always be in my heart. Of course he also lives on in Sophie and Alex, smiling back at me through their eyes.

We talk about Nigel every single day, dropping him into the conversation as if he were still here. Sophie has an amazing memory for detail, and will often recall funny little things she did with Nigel. The girls do not remember him with sadness; their memories instead are of happy times, of a daddy who truly loved them both.

So I will end my post here. Thank you to all my dear friends, both in real life and online. Without your support and friendship I would have crumbled. I will continue with this blog, and I hope you will continue to visit.

Anna's girls are here to stay, and even though our lives have changed direction slightly since Nigel died, he will always be in our hearts. A gift I was given not long ago sums it up.

We love him because he loved us.

The day so far...

Been to sort my car tax out at last. Then I popped in to see Nigel's sister. After that I went to the cemetery to tidy Nigel's grave, give him a hair cut, so to speak!

When I got home, I decided to put the BBQ on for lunch, and so we had chicken and sausages out in the garden. Went down well with the girls and mum and dad. Now we are going to take some sunflowers to the cemetery from the girls.

One year on...

This time last year, I was fast asleep in bed with Nigel. We had been to our favourite restaurant, Casa do Rio, and eaten Cataplana. The views out across the estuary were breathtaking as usual. After walking back up the hill, we got the girls to bed and settled down ourselves.
The last time I spoke to Nigel was at 1.10am. For some reason we both woke up. I need the toilet, and Nigel had a sore throat, so got up and took some paracetamol. We went back to sleep.

Then it was 2.00am and Nigel fell out of bed. I can remember every moment clearly now, as if it was yesterday. I don't think I will ever forget the events of that night.

After the paramedics had gone, I remember sitting on the bed, with Nigel lying on the floor next to me, covered in a sheet. I thought of my friend Sarah, whose husband Peter is waiting for a heart transplant. Nigel wanted to be an organ donor, but the way in which he died meant that it wasn't possible.

But tonight, there is possibly a donor heart for Peter. Tonight of all nights. I knew it would be tonight. If it goes ahead, which I hope more than anything in the world, something good will be there for us on August 10th. Somewhere, a family is grieving the loss of their loved one, but they have given the gift of life, hopefully to Peter. Nigel is watching out for him too.

So please, join me in saying a prayer for Peter, Sarah, Nicole, Lauren and Serena tonight. Let Peter see his girls grow up, something Nigel will never do. He isn't here but I am doing everything I can to bring them up well.

Please, let Peter get that heart, and let it be tonight.

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Been tagged

here are the details

It's all about passing on something nice so I need to find people to tag...

Not much happening to report. We've been up in Durham at my parents', and the girls have stayed there while I return to Leeds overnight. Going back up there tomorrow to spend another couple of nights there.

This time last year, we were in Portugal, and had spent the day by the pool in bright sunshine. We ate out that evening, can't remember where tho. Happy days... little did any of us realise how much life would change in a matter of days.