I still get asked from time to time if I have got over Nigel's death. Hmm. Then I have to explain that no, I haven't got over Nigel's death, and that I never will. To me, I explain, it is more about getting on with my life in a different way to how I'd planned it. It is hard to explain the disappointment I feel that my life is not how I had hoped. However, I am working hard to make my life something more than full of sadness because Nigel has died.
It is easy to let sadness overwhelm my life, but I must admit that I feel I am getting better at controlling such sadness. Different dates are hard, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc, so I have to prepare myself mentally about looking positively to the future.
I wonder how life would be if Nigel was still here? If he had survived his heart attack, he probably would have had to have had major heart surgery, so he would have had to make some changes. It would have meant changes for us too, but to what extent we'll never know.
We would most probably still be living where we are now, with me working at the same school, Nigel still at the council, and the girls settled at their school. Nigel would still be enjoying a pint at the New Inn, just round the corner.
Easy to wonder how life would have been if it wasn't for the events of August 10th 2006...