My name

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 79 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

interesting eh

work work work

Back to work. Getting out of the house on my own was interesting. Alex is still Miss Clingy when I drop her off, which is just nasty for me.
Filled in my CRB check form, missed doing it as I wasn't at work. Wonder if this will make a difference in the long term to children's safety in schools.... obviously not me cos I is a good girl! No criminal record here, some people seem to be able to hide theirs nicely.

My bed died a horrible death yesterday. Big crunch while I was just sitting on it. Now the bed is in bits on the landing, and I am sleeping on a mattress. Time for some bed shopping..... typical that this happens just as I go back to work and have less time to browse!

Time to sleep on my mattress so night all.

Bubble had a baby!!

Yippee Bubble had her baby, a little boy, all is fine.
So happy for you Bubble, here's to happy times ahead for the Bubble family, not forgetting your angel.

Are you married?

Well are you?
If you're not, and you have kids, then you need to get married asap. If its just a case of you never got round to it, please get round to it. You don't have to change your name, or wear a wedding ring. It doesn't change you into a different person.
The reason I am writing this is because if you are not married, and your partner dies in circumstances like Nigel did, or otherwise, then you will find yourself to be in a really sticky situation.
I know it's outdated in 'this day and age', but legally you are only a widow if you are married. Also, you are not next of kin unless you are married. Your partner's parents or siblings would have more rights than you. There are various benefits available to widows and widowers, but these aren't payable to unmarried couples.

Stupid, but true.

So if all else fails, get down to the registry office and tie the knot in your lunch hour. No pomp and circumstance needed. Just a bit of paper which changes the whole world if the worst happens.

Don't sit and think, 'This will never happen to me.'
I did that when my dear friend Karen lost her fiance Mark in January this year. I remember thinking, 'What would I do if this happened to me?'

Well it did, and it COULD happen to you. You never know. But at least you can be prepared if it does.

Legoland Photographs

My three favourite photographs!

Been to LGI today for Alex to see Mr Knight, her ENT consultant. All is looking good, and now we wait to see how she is over the next few months. If her grommets fall out they may replace them, got to see if the glue ear returns. She is having a repeat hearing test some time soon.

A little update

Just a quick post as I'm off to the hospital with Sophie for an eye appointment. Alex is going to play at her godmother's house with Nathan, her partner in crime.
Back safely from Legoland, appalling journey as the weather was hideous. Already planning to go again as there was so much we didn't see.

Happiness for the Head Family at Legoland!

What a great day today.
The girls just adored Legoland. And I must say I thought it was pretty ace too!
First we saw Miniland, models of London and other famous buildings from around the world. Alex was enthralled. And I mean ENTHRALLED. She would quite happily have stayed there all day!
Then on to Duplo land, and a ride in a helicopter thingy, just up and down on a pole but another source of enjoyment.
The rest of the day passed quickly, spot of lunch in the pasta place, a puppet show, more rides, trains, ice cream, etc. etc.
Then back to the hotel for a swim.

Excellent day.

Time for a little trip

Here we are in a hotel in Warwickshire somewhere. Off to my cousin's baby's christening tomorrow, then on to Slough. On Monday morning the girls are hitting Legoland Windsor! With my mum and dad too, should be great fun!
In car DVD player was worth its weight in gold again today, kept the girls amused with Tarzan followed by the Care Bears on the way here. I must admit, that if ever I was buying a brand new car and was offered a built in DVD player as an option, I'd take it without a doubt!

Will upload some pics of Legoland in a few days.

I am still me

I am finding there are a few people out there who are forgetting that I am a person in my own right.
Yes, I am Nigel's widow.
Yes it is a horrible situation for me to be in.
Yes I would give every damn penny I have for things to be different.

But don't forget, I am still me, I am Anna, and I am still here. My life goes on. I don't want people to back off from me, or exclude me from things because they feel uncomfortable about what's happened.

Its not a situation I asked to be in, but I am managing it ok. At least I think so, and the girls seem to think so too.

Hi ho, hi ho

Its off to work I go.
First day back today, a whole morning at work.
It was good to be back, I'm looking forward to getting back into it properly after half term. This morning threw some interesting moments at me, but it was great.
I love being with the kids at school. I really do enjoy my job. Paperwork is a bit of a bind, but the actual teaching is just great. I work with some great people, people I respect, which is more than a lot of people can say. I may not be as driven to pursue my career in management terms just now, but I enjoy teaching. Every day is different, good days, not so good days. So many good times since I started out in January 2000.

Sophie has her first school disco tomorrow, a Hallowe'en affair. She has a witch's outfit that I was cajoled into buying in Tesco's at the weekend.
Ah the joys of life as a four year old.

Birthday Balloons

Here's a very bad picture of Sophie with the balloons we took for Nigel today, a Winnie the Pooh one and a smiley one.





Today has been ok, sad but ok. Standing at Nigel's plot was weird. I mean, what am I doing stood by the grave of my now 41 year old husband? Why?

Well there is no explanation. No logic. No reason. It just is.

If you listen to the music which plays as you read this blog, you will see how poignant the words are.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above and down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face

Whoo owoo wo..aa a a a aaa

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you



If only life was that simple.

Happy Birthday Nigel

Your birthday tomorrow. Can't believe its here already. Has it really been over two months since you died?
I wish you were here.
I miss you, the girls miss you.


I love you Nigel

Ill

Cough
cold
losing my voice
feel yack
off to bed
night night

School photo is back

What a little beauty!
Can't believe she is nearly five already.

Yipee again!

Heard today that one of my layouts has been printed on the letters page of the Scrapbook Magazine! I sent it in ages ago and haven't had any confirmation from the magazine, but its there and I can't wait to see it! Will have to go to Borders tomorrow and get a copy.

Yipee!

My layout of Sophie on her first day at school won the monthly LO competition over on Cara. I am well chuffed :D
Busy today. Went to hand in forms at the jobcentre to see if I am entitled to bereavement benefits. Then it was off to the University to sort out Nigel's pension. Then lunch with Tilly and Sue (and a little shopping...). After that I did more laundry before collecting the girls fromDebbie and Gaynor.
This evening my friend was supposed to come round but unfortunately her youngest has got the suits. Seemingly never ending too. Poor little man! And poor mummy too, up to her eyeballs in pooey nappies!!
Tomorrow Sophie has an appointment with the opthalmologist, her eye is turning in again. Think she may need glasses. Had a look in Specsavers last week and the kids' glasses are fan-blinkin-tastic compared to when I was little!
Will have to wai and see if she needs glasses.
That's it for now.

Center Parcs weekender

Back safe and sound from our Center Parcs weekender with Big Alex, Josh (aka George) and Harry. What a great time we had! Some moments were frought, but isn't that always the case when on the go with 4 kids under 6?
We swam, we walked, we climber, we played golf (erm well there were golf clubs and balls involved) and we chilled out. Ate some good food, drank some vino, archers, lager.... put the world to rights. The kids generally got on well, the odd squabble, but not so bad. And getting Alex and Harry off the water slides proved to be a job and a half!
We had a fantastic weekend. Brought back some good memories for me as last time we went to Sherwood CP was in June 2004, Alex was 11 weeks, Sophie was 2.5 and we had a nice midweek break while I was on maternity leave. Mum and dad came too. There was the small incident with Dad and the bike but let's not go there..... I prefer to remember good times lately. Too easy to remember the not so good things, so let's focus on happy days.
And this weekend was full of happy days so its a memory I'll hold tight.

Work is beckoning

Not long now til I go back to work. I am going in for one morning before half term, I want to feel as if I have made an effort before the holiday.
I think some people think I am mad to go back so soon, but the longer I leave it, the harder it will be to go back. I love teaching (shame about the paperwork!!) and I am looking forward to getting to know my class better. The mix of 22 boys and 8 girls is going to be interesting, but it is a challenge I aim to rise to.
Sophie and Alex are happy where they are for childcare. Sophie adores school, and hopefully Alex can start nursery after Easter. She gets a bit frustrated sometimes I think when she is stuck doing baby things.
I know I will have to run a tight ship on the days I am working, but all will be ok.
It has to.
There is no other way.
Its just me and the girls for the long haul.

Good day bad day

Good day - girls enjoyed the service at church followed by lunch at Grandma Jean's.
Bad day - I feel sad this evening. Just miss him more. Don't know why, I just do.