Five months today since Nigel died. A year ago last Monday since Mark died.
Time is running away with me. Just now I am really feeling a gap in my life. Last night when I fell, I wanted someone to be there to pick me up, to sweep up the smashed plate, to make me a fresh sandwich, to hug me and tell me I am ok. Life as a lone parent isn't so hard, its tricky and I do have to have things in a routine. But the enormity of decision making on my own, being fully responsible for the girls, that's the scariest part of my life. I love the girls, they are my life. Every time I look at them I see Nigel looking back at me. I'm doing my best with them, I know I'm not perfect, but I think we're doing ok. Tiredness is still a factor. I feel as if I could sleep for a week and more, but with Sophie and Alex in tow, that's not possible!
Anyway, enough of my waffle. I miss Nigel very much tonight.