This morning I received a text message which I had known would arrive sometime today. It told me that at midnight last night, my friend's 3 month old son lost his fight to continue life. He has had many medical problems since birth, and sadly he fell asleep for the last time last night. I feel absolutely desolate for my friend and her family; she has two daughters similar in age to my two, and they must be feeling immense sadness at the loss of their brother.
Something I have stopped trying to do is to understand why people die. Logic does not come into it. When your number is up, there is nothing you can do about it. Some people leave before you expect them to, others outlive your wildest expectations. Nigel certainly left well before anyone expected him to, and I would still give everything I have to just have one more minute with him. But of course that can't be. I know he has gone, and I hope that my friend's son is somewhere where he does not suffer. I will not say a better place, as how can there be anywhere better than with your family? People said that to me when Nigel died. How could Nigel be somewhere which was better than being with the girls and me?
I do believe in God, and I do not hide my faith. Yes there are times when I wonder why God has chosen to do certain things, but I can not explain them and never will. Accepting tragedies alongside happy times is part of life, part of becoming a better person. It is just indescribably painful trying to do this when life throws it's worst at you. If only life were easy.... but it's not. So let's get on with it, make the most of it and take the rough with the smooth.