Today would have been Nigel's dad Sydney's birthday. He died nearly 15 years ago so I never met him, and of course he never met the girls either.
And then of course tomorrow it is the 10th of the month. Which means another month has passed since Nigel died. Again I can't believe time has passed so quickly again. 8 whole months.
My aim is to have got through all the big changes in my life by the time the first anniversary arrives. So I want the redecoration of the house done, the loft, rooms moved round and all that. I essentially want to start from 10th August 2007 as a fresh approach. I am certainly aiming to be at target weight wise, and into management, where foods are reintroduced one by one. Then it will be a good time for the girls and I to continue as a family of three, enjoying so many things together.
I am going on now... apologies if I am boring you.
There has been one question at the front of my mind over Easter. Why did it have to be Nigel? I know there is no logic. No reason. Nothing that he or I did. I don't feel angry about the fact that he is gone, just deeply saddened that I am now bringing up our daughters without their father.
When we got married, it was until death do us part; I just never realised we would part so soon.