Photos taken today...

Alex enjoying the garden, especially the playhouse!



The beautiful flowers in the planter I got for Mother's Day.



My little artist, Sophie.

Stop this taxation please

When Nigel died, I found that I was entitled to a benefit called Widowed Parent's Allowance (thanks JanH for pointing that out). This benefit is paid to wives/husbands to support children under school leaving age. It has been crucial for me, and I know there are plenty of peopl in a situation like mine who are not even aware they are entitled to claim it.
The government very cleverly decided to tax this, which is just plain ridiculous. There is now a petition against this, so PLEASE SIGN IT to try and end this money grabbing exercise by the government.

Link to the petition. Please click and sign.

I feel sad inside because my daddy died

So said Sophie to her teacher on Wednesday. That explains the huge tantrums and paddies I had from her that evening. Sophie is struggling so today I contacted Winston's Wish, a charity which deals with bereaved children. They have advised me on how to help Sophie understand what has happened.
When Sophie's teacher told me what she had said, I wanted to cry. I wanted to take away Sophie's pain. So now I have to work with her to try and ease this. No-one can take her pain away, but I am going to try my best to help her.

Four stone...

yes I've now lost FOUR stone. Four stone and one pound to be precise. I am so pleased!

In response to a comment...

Claudia left me a comment yesterday. I am presuming she works for Abel and Cole.

I did get a full refund, which was great. Shame I had to make a trip to the supermarket to get the fruit my girls love, but never mind.

I said I was thinking about switching because a few weeks ago I got home on the Monday to find no delivery from Abel and Cole. I rang the customer services number, and was told that the driver had reversed his van off a cliff. No-one had bothered to let me know this was the case, even though by this stage it was 6pm on the day of delivery. 'The delivery will be with you tomorrow' I was told. It got to 6pm the next day and still no delivery, so I rang and was told it was on it's way. Finally it turned up at 7.30pm, thankfully the driver himself was ok after his accident. But I was cross that at no point had Abel and Cole bothered to get in touch with me to let me know that my order wouldn't be delivered on the right day. I mentioned this when I rang yesterday, and the lady I spoke to was very surprised that no-one has contacted me.

I am sure this is a one off. The produce we have had from them so far has been superb, and the girls have loved eating it. I have ordered them some choccie bunnies for Easter, and also a pack of hot cross buns. I am looking forward to when I can eat it again and we can expand our delivery to include a wider range of fantastic organic produce. I am definitely converted, I won't be going back to supermarket fruit and veg.

So in all, lots of positives about Abel and Cole, just unfortunate that I have experienced 2 slip ups since I started getting deliveries. I would recommend them and I have convinced other friends to use them too. So if you are thinking about it, I would say go for it!

Busy Busy World

I feel like this most days, especially as the end of term is nearly upon us. I have so much to do and so little time to do it in. Tonight's task is marking literacy books and tidying up my maths planning. My maths set seem to have lost the ability to absorb any new topics this week.....


My fruit delivery from Abel and Cole has also gone missing, think the driver delivered it to the wrong address, and whoever received it has just kept it. Cheeky buggers! I am tempted to switch to Farmaround North, will give it another couple of weeks to see how it goes.

No time for crafting but hopefully I will do soon.

What is a fair test?

Been busy doing science today with my class. Working on understanding what a fair test is. Quite a tricky thing to understand, but I think some of my class have got it now.
I hate Mondays in that by the time we get home after a long day we are all exhausted. This morning was a bit easier as the girls slept til 7.20. I literally rolled them out of bed and into the car. Sophie had breakfast at Jennifer's, and Alex had it at Gaynor's. So I could get up without them mithering me and getting under my feet. Tomorrow will be different no doubt....
The lighter evening was good too, the girls went and played in the garden before coming in at 6.15 and wolfing down chicken casserole and rice. After a bit more time in the garden, it was bath time. Alex has gone to bed without a nappy tonight, I hope she doesn't wet the bed!!
Not long til the holidays, boy do I need it. I was horribly disappointed when the loft start date was put back a week, but hey, it's only a week. So many more important things to worry about.
Like why it is that I am even in this situation. Something I struggle to comprehend every single day of my life.

Good times!

This weekend has been good fun for us all. Friday evening set the scene, with Sophie enjoying her party, and me relaxing with Sarah. Then on Saturday I made it to the Papercrafts show in Harrogate. It was a bit disappointing, but I did pick up some nice stuff from Art from the Heart as usual. Also got a nice album to put all the portraits of the girls in. Then it was Mollie's party, complete with bouncy castle and impressive party bags/cups.
Mum and Dad went home on Saturday, which threw Sophie a bit, but she soon got over it. This morning we went bowling with WAY, and the girls loved it! Alex got a bit fed up in the middle, but she was hungry. Next time we go I will go armed with some snacks, as she was very upset because she wanted to eat more than sweeties. She did, however, go on to win the first game!
After bowling, Deborah and Thomas, TV stars from the Channel 4 documentary came back for lunch. Thomas adored our garden, and it was good to chat with Deborah. I hope they come back soon as it was very easy to talk to her, and the girls really enjoyed playing with Thomas. I also managed to introduce Thomas to a new food which brought back some happy memories of student life for Deborah. Amazing how a Chelsea bun can remind someone of happy days!
Alex is asleep next to me, I will transfer her into her own bed a bit later on. I am hoping they will both sleep a bit later in the morning, what with the clocks changing, giving me the chance to get up and sorted before getting them up and straight out of the house. It is Alex's last week with Gaynor this week, end of an era which is sad. But Alex is ready to move on to nursery so although I will be sorry to say goodbye, the time is right for Alex to change to nursery and going to Debbie's.
Enough of the waffle. Adios amigos.

Introducing Olivia Layout...

So I cut into my BG Blush papers and this is the result. Those papers are gorgeous, really gutted me to use them. I used these colours as they tied in with the colours of the sofa, and also the clothes Olivia and Sophie are wearing.

Had a power nap this afternoon which was nice. Then when Sophie and Jenn were at Ivy's party, Sarah and I nipped to Starbucks for coffee, followed by a spot of retail therapy at Gap and Boots. Also had a quick look at bikes in Toysrus for Sophie and Jenn as they are too big for the bikes they have.

Think I will have an early night tonight, will put a film on the telly and watch in bed. Have a good weekend everyone!

Half Way There!

I have been to Lighterlife this evening and I have now lost 52 lb!! That means I am halfway to my target weight, which has given me a fantastic lift mood wise! Parents' evenings are done with now for this year, which is good. Now I need to catch up on some sleep and feel a bit more relaxed about a lot of things. I have the Basic Grey Blush papers out on my scrap table, along with the pic of Olivia, so hopefully I will scrap that this weekend. I also have some CJ work to do. Plus a party and bowling with WAY which will be fun!

Why bother?

This week has left me wondering why I bother. Why? I put so much into everything and then it gets spat back at me. I am on the point of giving up on some things, they are not worth making myself ill over.

My friend Sasha had a baby boy yesterday. They knew his bowel was outside his abdomen, so they were prepared for him to be poorly. He was poorly yesterday and they were hoping he would be stable enough to have surgery in the afternoon. Please spare a thought for this wonderful little boy and his family.

Meet Olivia....

Here is the first time I held my niece Olivia on Sunday. What a beautiful little girl! Sophie was very taken with her but Alex wasn't bothered! An initial flash of green eyed monster, but after that she was more concerned with helping Sam unwrap his presents!!

After spending yesterday at home because of my throat, I went back to work today. Blimey those kids are playing up at the moment! No fun to be had there, that's for sure! Ah well.... only another week and a bit til the hols....

My own little Lime Green Bogie Girl!

Alex has a stinker of a cold, and whilst fiddling with my 400D earlier I snapped this one of her. That's a cracking bogie wedged up her nose there! Apologies to Kirsty....

And here are my new troll beads. The lighting isn't too good... need more time to get the hang of taking better pics!



Not been into work today as my voice is all croaky again. Generally feeling very tired too. As I am struggling to sleep properly I have been back to the docs, and hopefully this time I will get sorted.

Gorgeous Girls

Today I have made this mini book for Nigel's mum as a mother's day gift. The book is part of a project kit I got from Scrapagogo. I really enjoyed making it, and Nigel's mum was overjoyed with it. The book is a Maya Road chipboard book, Daisy D's papers and Bazzill cardstock. Then various blooms, brads and clips. The rub ons are Polar Bear Press I think. I did of course ink the edges within an inch of their lives, plus I used the beads from the kit to string from the binding. A great project.

I also gave my new camera a proper test drive today. I have been saving up since Nigel died to get a proper D-SLR camera so that I can take better photographs. These are the results so far. Only basic to start off with, but I am keen to learn how to get the most out of my lovely Canon EOS 400D!



















I hope you are having a good weekend. Leave me a comment, they have been a bit thin on the ground lately. Bye for now!

Life After Death

Last night I watched a documentary on Channel Four all about other members of WAY in West Yorkshire. It opened with a lady called Ruth talking about having a Nigel shaped gap in her life as her husband was also called Nigel. That in itself was hugely emotive, and I shed some tears while watching the programme. I am not as far on in my journey as the people in the programme, but I was able to understand all the emotions expressed. It really is so true that only people who have lost their partner truly understand how it all feels.

I was full of admiration for everyone featured. I have already spoken to Sharon and Deborah on the phone, and I am looking forward to meeting them soon. I hope Sophie and Alex will make some good friends their ages when we go to a WAY meet up. They don't know any children the same age who have lost their daddy. Lots of single parent families, but all through divorce. None through death.

Thank goodness for Fridays when it's my day off. I have to speak to the Nationwide today, I am currently feeling very pressured by their financial adviser and I am aiming to tell him that I am not happy with his approach. Wish me luck!

Time for some birthday present shopping

As it is now less than 3 weeks til Alex's birthday, it's time to get some present shopping done. We were in Habitat last Friday and she loved this teepee so I think we can get her that. It's not huge so can be used in the house easily.



I have my eye on various bits and pieces too, just need to decide which to get!

Had a good laugh at work this afternoon, once the kids had gone we had a cuppa in the staff room and laughed at various lewd comments, picked my mood up instantly. Tomorrow night is parents' evening so I am going to do some scrapbooking tonight. Try and relax a bit tonight I think. And get an early night, well earlier than last night as I was marking books til late. I have a CJ entry and want to do, get it all ready for first posting next Monday!

Support

Had a good weekend, ended nicely with a visit from Lisa, Lottie, Sarah and Gemma. I even cooked them a curry, while Gemma and I sat with our VLCD food packs. Not that difficult at all really.

The logo above is for the WAY foundation. I have mentioned it before, but in brief it is for people who are widowed under the age of 50. I have been chatting online with more members and the supportive atmosphere is amazing. No problem or worry is too much trouble. It really is a perfect example of 'a problem shared is a problem halved'

Scraplifting

No, it's not a crime as long as you ask permission from the person who created the original layout.
This is a scraplift of my team mate over on UKScrappers, the very talented Lana. She originally did this LO about her eldest daughter, Issy. Heather challenged us to scraplift someone's LO so I decided to go for this one. I have my eye on another LO by another team mate, so watch this space!



Grandad has a blood clot on his lung and a kidney infection. Not looking good. I hope grandma is managing ok with all this to cope with. Hopefully grandad will improve soon, but who knows.

Ouch

Took the girls to the dentist today for our check up. Sophie got a clean bill of health, Alex had a paddy and refused to open her mouth, and I have been referred to the dental hospital. I have had a hole in my last wisdom tooth for a few weeks, and so when my detist tried to x-ray it, a big chunk came off. He wanted to spray it to see if the nerve was live but I declined that one! Don't want to inflict any unnecessary pain on myself. Having the tooth out will be hideous enough thank you! The dentist, Andrei, was nice though, much better than the last one we had. He is polish and said that his english wasn't very good, but I thought he did very well. His manner with the girls was fab, even though Alex did have that paddy. She just didn't fancy flashing her gnashers at anyone today!

My grandad has taken a turn for the worse. He has an infection, not sure exactly where, but it isn't looking good. I hope that whatever happens, he doesn't suffer. Grandma is with him, so I hope things are resolved soon.

Photos of the Toddler Time CJ

Photos at last!





















Just gorgeous isn't it!

Love to scrap with friends

My friends Collette and Lynne came round last night and we nattered and scrapped. It was great to have some company in the evening, that's one of the things I miss most lately. Anyway, this photo was taken of me when I was between 2 and 3 I think. I must check with my mum on that one. I used Cherry Arte papers from the September Scrapagogo. I wasn't a subscriber then, and I happened to pick this up on the marketplace over on UKScrappers as it wasn't to the subscriber's taste. I have been meaning to use it for ages but finally got round to it last night!

And on a final note, go and check out my best bud's new venture, Anglesey Craft Supplies. Good luck Heather, I am so excited for you and am looking forward to having a go with some of your new stcok.

Me and My Teddy is back!

I started a CJ on UKS last year with other mums of toddlers. Mine was 'Me and My Teddy'. It's too late now to photograph them so I will try and do it tomorrow. I am delighted with the result, and Alex has loved looking through it. She has shown everyone who has come into the house since it arrived on Saturday.

Mum and dad have gone home. They are tired, not surprising given how much they have going on right now. Olivia still can't come home, grandad is not doing well, and then they are convinced I am not coping. I think they expect me to be Little Miss Perky Mood all the time, and I really don't feel like that all the time.

Tony, Jackie, Claire and Jennifer came round today too which was great. They are coming for a little tea party on Alex's birthday which will be lovely. Need to work out what to make for tea that day now!

Work tomorrow, year 6 are out on residential which will mean a quieter week, but still just as busy. Next week it is parents' evening round 1, so I have to make sure everything is marked and up to date. Will do some tomorrow after school as we haven't got a staff meeting because of Ingleborough. Tea for the girls on a Monday is nice and easy, they are usually happy with a sandwich! Plus the house is clean on Monday nights as my lovely cleaner has been.

So onwards and upwards. Here's hoping my mood stays stable this week, no wobbles like last week. Lots of things planned. Wonder how many of them will get done!

Adios for now, amigos!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh relax!!!

What an afternoon at the spa! I had a Swedish back, shoulder and neck massage and it was divine. Definitely worth it once in a while as a treat. It was fantastic to meet up with all my online friends again. Of course I was sorry not to go on for a meal at the noodle bar which I love, but next time we meet up at the Spa I will be able to join them. Coming home and trying on trousers which haven't fitted me for a year to find that they were too big made up for missing out on the meal.

I've been thinking about things again. I know quite a few people who have suffered devastating losses in their lives. I understand that feeling since Nigel died. But does that mean that the world owes me a living? That people should treat me differently, give me preferential treatment because of Nigel's death? Should I expect to behave how I like, say what I want, because after all, I have suffered such a terrible loss?

Well the answer is easy. No. There is no need for me to expect anything different from most things in life. Support from friends and family, yes, but letting me get away with making stupid statements and behaving badly? Never.

Anyway, enough of the ranting. My neice has a name, Olivia. Beatiful name but unfortunately I haven't seen her yet. She is still in SCBU in Manchester, currently poorly with various things. I don't know when she will be home, so spare her a prayer please.

Just popping in....

It's Friday, hooray! Busy day today as once I have dropped the girls off I am going for a hair cut, first one since October! This afternoon my lovely friend Cliona flies in from Dublin, so I am really excited about seeing her. Think it's a year since I saw her just about, which is far too long! Tomorrow we are off to the spa, and I have booked myself a massage too, so an afternoon of indulgence. Everyone else is off for a meal at my favourite noodle bar, so I am coming home at that point as obviously I can't do that yet. Hard, but worth it as so far I've lost 38.9 lb!